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Lawyerdude's Biographical and Personal page.

Brief Autobiography of Attorney Douglas Palaschak

This subdocument is Version 1.1

Here is my photograph from April 2007: Http://

Here I am on YouTube:

            I have enjoyed a charmed life. I grew up on the perfect farm. My brother Greg farms it now. I am an Engineering Graduate of the University of Illinois, Urbana, the best engineering school in the world - home of the mythical Hal9000 of 2001, A Space Odyssey. There I was an honors student. I marched in “The Marching Illini”,the world’s undisputed Premiere Marching Band. John Philip Sousa said that we were the best. I began my career as a Registered Professional Engineer. I consulted for the U.S. Navy, Mobil, and Exxon. My expert testimony resolved a personal injury case. My calculations proved that a steel hydraulic pressure accumulator did not contain sufficient oxygen for combustion to have overloaded the failed bolts. This proved that the cause of the explosion was a failed hydraulic safety valve.

            I conceived and designed subsea machinery for the U.S. Navy. I performed the buckling analysis for the riser tubes and contributed to the design of the giant seafloor template for a quarter mile tall oil rig presently in service in the North Sea.

            I have been a licensed lawyer for nearly a quarter century. I passed the California bar exam in 1983. I have my J.D. from Ventura College of Law. I publish approximately 1200 legal articles on the internet. My areas of expertise are:

            Enhancement of Freedom through constructive rebellion and litigation;

            The abuse of Licensure by the state as an Instruments of Oppression;

            Pre-Trial Criminal Defense of Malum Prohibium Crimes - the subject of my book;

            Internet-driven Improvements in the Efficiency of Litigation;

            Empowerment of Pro Se Litigants;


            I wrote only one appeal in my career and it won.

            My most recent book is on the subject of Pre-trial Criminal Litigation of Malum Prohibitum Crimes. It is available by mail order via the internet. My proudest accomplishment is having found a mistake in the sheet music for Debussy’s Clair De Lune. Warner Brothers republished their Debussy book. Here is their letter in that matter: I have appeared on The Love Connection, Hard Copy, and Inside Edition.

            My heroes are Williams Kunstler Stephen Yagman , and Melvin Belli. Kunstler was sentenced to 4 years and 13 days in jail for his zealous advocacy. He won on appeal. Here is his biography: Yagman was suspended for 2 years for having accused Judge Real of being a drunk. He won on appeal. Belli was whacked by the California bar for having done a TV spot for his favorite wine.

Here are links to some of my favorite subjects and projects:

1.         Lawyerdude’s cookbook: Use this link if it is good: . First half of book in pdf: Will choke your computer if it is not new: 2nd half of book in pdf. Will choke your computer if it is not new:

2.         Jump to Doug's absolutely all true real life personal adventures if you are not interested in the legal stuff on this page.

3.         If you want to hear Claire de Lune click here: Claire De Lune is my favorite music to play on the piano. I found a mistake in the sheet music and Warner Brothers fixed it and republished the book. Here is the Letter from Warner Brothers: It is very big. I must figure out how to shrink it down to size.

4.         When I was at the University of Illinois at Urbana I played in the Undisputed #1 Marching Band in the Universe! What a rush it was to march down the street to Memorial Field on a crisp Autumn Saturday for Big Ten Football. There were 240 of us in the band. If you want to here what we sounded like click on to the website of the University of Illinois Marching Illini . There is a page that has much of the traditional music. It is here: If you want to join my Marching Illini group you can find our music there also: Another link to downloads:

5.         If you want to read my electromagnetic theory of witching for water click here.

6.         Word Counting and Frequency analysis forensic tool and writing improver: Catherine Ball's Word Counter Program:

7.         The self sustaining Illinois and mid-western farm lifestyle and culture.

8.         Constitutional liberties

9.         Communes: the quest for Utopia. Societal Improvement through change

10.       Modern History of the world emphasizing progress in social justice, and the prevalence and acceptance of deceit

11.       Chemistry of aromatics, flavoring, fragrances and psychotropic and recreational neurotransmitters and the biochemistry of neuropharmacology: drugs and the brain.

12.       My European ancestors. Close and distant.

13.       The gold standard and currency manipulation. Specie payment. Money control.

14.       Palaschak's corollary. Leary's theory. Genetic Behaviorism. Sociobiology. Social Darwinism.

15.       Dream interpretation. Dream interpretation employs the same symbology as interpretation of fairy tales.

16.       Nicola Tesla was a brilliant Serb gentleman who invented alternating current and electric motors. His inventions were ripped off by the establishment including Marconi, Westinghouse, Edison, and J P Morgan. Here is a link to a site about Tesla and his court battle where he finally won recognition that Tesla's radio patents predated Marconi's work which was copied from Tesla's work. Here is the 1943 U.S. Supreme court opinion that came a year after Tesla died and a year after the government spy folks swooped down and took all his records and files.

17. My own personal quest to vindicate my first amendment rights. It this link there are many of my brief in my long battle with the bar. Here are a few documents. There are links at some of the documents to take you to other related briefs and motions.

18.       Doug's 15 page history of the world.


Version 1.012 Crass Promotional Links: Upgraded Friday, June 23, 2006 Upgraded October 4, 2006. 5/18/07. 8/10/07.

Watch me on YouTube:

Telephone Lawyerdude: 888 476 8954 toll free. Email:

This subdocument is Click it to get the latest version.

Please join my newest Yahoo group for discussion or legal self help litigation. Here is the link to the link:

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Links for your Empowerment! Self help Litigation forms, instructions, cases, and samples.

1.         Table of Contents to my $29 book. You can use your credit or debit card to buy it. Over 143 jam packed 8.5 x 11 pages. Sent by priority mail.

2.         My Flow Chart including links to a dozen proven winning motions:

3.         How to Win! Getting started:

4.         Motions 101. How to write and file and serve a motion:

5.         Over 100 actual winning motions from 22 winning pro se litigators !

6.         What has been newly posted by Lawyerdude:

7.         My Demurrer page: Perfect record so far:

8.         Briefs 101. How to write a Memorandum of Law:

9.         Lawyerdude’s Empowerment page:

10.       What performance you should expect from your criminal defense counsel:

11.       Your litigation rights page. Learn your litigation rights!

12.       Charlie’s Transcripts. Learn how to charm the judge and win your case:

13.       Learn the law ! Links to the 143 cases that define criminal procedure:

14.       Eighteen actual Section 1983 federal complaints:

15.       List of the 30 most important criminal court motions. They are listed in Lawyerdude’s Bill of Rights for Criminal Defendants in jail. This is my New Standard by which to measure effectiveness of counsel. Make your appointed lawyer toe the line:

16.       Courtroom assertiveness 101: How to be assertive in court. Scripts for the Pro Se litigant:


17.       Were you strip searched? Sue em! Do they do a strip search anus check every time you go to the law library? Did your jail not have a law library?

18.       List of the most quotable cases and the most useful web pages for the pro se Litigator:

19.       Your case summary and trial notebook form:

All about Lawyerdude Palaschak

20.       List of my 200 most popular web pages according to Google.

21.       My winning argument regarding the 1st amendment where I argued the Law to the jury without interruption:

22.       Raid at the Good Nite Inn based on mistake of law by District Attorney:

23.       My ongoing battle with the mistaken, oppressive, and political state bar:

24.       Lawyerdudes’s biographical page:

25.       My LSD story and brief:

26.       How to work well with Lawyerdude:

27.       My most important page. My top 10 lists:

28.       My ideas. My 10 proposed amendments to the bill of rights:

29.       My home page: Or my mirror site:

My biggest fattest briefs:

30.       My “state bar acts are unconstitutional!” brief:

31.       My 100 page LSD brief: Use this for your drug case!

32.       My collection of “right to drive” briefs:

33.       Lawyerdude's briefs:

More Lawyerdude links and Recommended Reading list

34.       Lawyerdude’s traffic page:

35.       Lawyerdude's library. A prioritized reading list. A list of books that farm folk and an enlightened populace should read. Some of these books justify weekly or monthly review - like your Bible - for your own defense.

36.       List of links to the Latest uploads from Lawyerdude:

37.       Lawyerdude's Contemporary Constitutional Issues:

38.       Lawyerdude's links page:

39.       Lawyer’s Manifesto:



This was one of my first web pages. Revised July 8, 2001 and 26 September 2003 and 10/12/04.


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